Walt Disney Studios has decided to recast the role of “Ariel” in its planned live-action remake of “The Little Mermaid”. The role was to have been played by Oscar-nominated actress Scarlett Johansson. However, after severe backlash from social justice groups who argued it was cultural and gender appropriation for a white, cis-gendered woman to be playing the role of a mermaid navigating the challenges of Transition, Disney decided to seek out an actual mermaid for the role.

Ms. Johansson attempted to defend having accepted the trans-piscine role, arguing that she has the greatest respect for mermaids and even “experimented” with mermaid-themed cosplay a few times in college. Predictably, these efforts resulted only in greater social media outrage and condemnation.

Despite Disney’s laudable commitment to diversity on this project, they have yet to actually announce a date for the new “Ariel” auditions. A spokesperson stated that auditions will certainly begin once they can assure a fully “safe space” for the mermaid in the studio. Unfortunately, auditions are presently underway next door for “The Lion King II”, and the smell of fish may be irresistible to the large felines vying for the role of Simba.