Much like in movies where the dorky kid abandons his true friends and those who count on him in a desperate attempt to get the mean, bullying popular kid to like him, Canada’s Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has given away 16 tons of “personal protective equipment” (PPE), including countless priceless and scarce N95 masks, to China. Because China really wanted it. And this way, China might like Canada a little, or at least stop teasing it.

While critics of the Prime Minister have pointed out that China tends to make its own protective equipment, and for most of the world; and that front-line healthcare workers in Canada, as well as the less robust and/or allergy-ridden of his actual friends, needed the protective equipment for themselves; Trudeau felt that he had to do something to seek favor and prove loyalty.

Trudeau added, “I hope that this great act of charity and my putting China ahead of the Canadian citizens I’ve been told I’m supposed to lead, will finally prove my worth to China. I think China will agree that now we are Best Friends Forever!”

One week later, China kicked Trudeau between the legs and pointed and laughed at his twisted body on the ground while his real friends just turned their backs on him in disappointment.