New York, California, Washington, and twelve other states have eliminated all history classes in elementary and high school for the upcoming and likely condensed school year. However, Oregon will still be offering Art History at the post-secondary level.

Governor Gavin Newsom (D. Calif.) explains, “What’s the point of studying all the tragic events of the past when they are just destined to be repeated? It’s kind of boring, and you’re just making people sad for no reason.”

These states will instead be diverting funds to more positive and useful academic pursuits, such as drama class and social activism class, as well as to courses with the broadly overarching goal of “making the world a better place,” such as mandatory volunteerism.

One high school history teacher approves of the decision, explaining, “There’s no purpose in trying to teach students to understand how Hitler was able to take over Europe when they aren’t able to apply those lessons to the modern world around them.” When asked about the actions of China and Russia, for example, the teacher added “Well, they are intimidating, invading, annexing sovereign neighbours and engaging in… uh, intellectual property theft, germ warfare, and suppression of free speech… Some might say that these actions are fuelled by the same principles that motivated aggressors such as Hitler, but… but here in the West… wait, what was I saying…”

History joins other “casualties of the curriculum” trimmed for budgetary and other reasons in recent years such as grammar and civics.