China Insulted U.S. Isn’t Properly Appreciative of Their Creating and Spreading of COVID-19, Saving The Earth from Climate Change

A high-level Chinese Communist Party official – who for reasons of anonymity we’ll refer to as Mr. Hu – has confirmed that China is angling for its scientists to receive the Nobel Peace Prize for their research and later tactical achievements in developing and then widely distributing the SARS-Coronavirus (COVID-19), thereby saving the Earth from the ravages of Climate Change.

“The left has declared they seek a world where air travel is non-existent, except for important business such as political confabs in exotic locales, or film festivals showcasing socially and environmentally aware celebrities. And where automobile use is only for the most essential of necessities, such as ferrying these favoured few between their 5-star hotel suites and their chartered aircraft. The great People’s Republic of China has facilitated the West’s achieving of this environmental ideal.”

Mr. Hu explained that China has long felt guilty for their contribution, however miniscule, to global greenhouse emissions via their tens of thousands of the dirtiest coal-fired power plants the world has ever seen – as well as some small fraction (approximately 98%) of the garbage floating in the oceans, devastating marine life. As it is unrealistic to expect any alteration in these behaviours on China’s part, they have instead assisted the Western world in more fully embracing the environmentally-friendly lifestyle it has so long said it desires.

“Now that people are spending all their time at home, families may bond, birds can be seen flying in the sky, much of the population is contemplating gardening in their backyard this summer, and the Earth has dropped 3 degrees C from the decreased usage of carbon-emitting cars and airplanes,” Mr. Hu further explained. “Indeed, people now have a greater appreciation than ever for this planet’s scarce resources, such as trees, toilet paper, and disinfectant wipes.”

Mr. Hu added that China expects much more gratitude, in the form of diplomatic recognition, awards and monetary prizes, “for all the good it has done the planet.“

When asked whether it was known to China that there would be human fatalities as a result of this environmental action, Mr. Hu replied “While we of course regret there would be costs to be paid to achieve the goal of reducing Climate Change, China’s people proudly stood ready to lie down in sacrifice for this important goal and we expect the U.S. and Europe, and all other minor countries, to do the same.”